Last week I took a quick trip to New Mexico and sequestered myself in a secret laboratory to learn the latest and greatest techniques of iPhone photography. Although I am not yet a master, I studied with a master. His techniques were dubious and devious and devastating. I quickly learned to be ruthlessly efficient and ferociously effective.
While I was in New Mexico, several things happened.
I bought a vintage custom motorcycle. I ate the most ridiculous monstrosity of a burger at Whataburger. I did not eat the fries. Maybe you think I’m crazy, but I generally don’t eat the fries. They don’t do it for me. I had a dinner consisting of beef jerkey, an ice cream sandwich, dried chili mango, a chocolate shake, and some Mexican spicy jalapeno ruffles. It’s amazing what you can find at a 24 hr. service station. I was interviewed by channel 7. Technically, that was in El Paso. I was filmed by several news stations as I exited my plane and entered the lounge area. Also, El Paso. Another passenger tried to assume my identity to acquire in flight benefits such as free booze. As you all know, I have platinum status on American Airlines. You can easily get it yourself. Just don’t tell everyone how easy it is. Or do. It’s up to you. I earned double miles on my flight because I know the good flights to take. Again, easy if you know where to look. I ate the last brownie at The Bean. It was delicious. I shook hands with a random American Indian man. We did not speak, but he had a sincere smile. I nearly got abducted by aliens, but luckily I found an abandoned truck and was able to jimmy-rig it into a serviceable form of transport. The rest of what happened has been deemed classified and even I don’t have the clearance to tell you the details.
Although all the above events may or may not have occurred exactly as recounted, all the above images were created entirely with an iPhone and a few inexpensive iPhone apps.
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