Watch out Spaniards, Central Americans and South Americans I will be coming to your countries soon. And yes, the rumors are true. Iâ€™m learning Spanish.Â I’m looking forward to butchering your language with reckless abandon. I donâ€™t believe in doing things half-assed so Iâ€™ve set a goal of becoming conversationally fluent in uno year.
Why so fast? Well, this Irish guy, Benny, learns languages to fluency in 3 months, so I figure if he can do it in 3 months, I can certainly do it in 12 months. Thatâ€™s practically a snails pace. Besides, I wouldnâ€™t want my friends ridiculing me for only being one quarter as smart as some random 8-language-speaking Irish guy. All jokes aside, Iâ€™ve been a fan of Bennyâ€™s for quite some time and am using his guide (Click here to visit Fluent in 3 months.) to help me with my lightning-fast acquisition of superior Spanish conversation skills. Which I will need since I’m going to visit South America this year and what better place to showcase my new skills.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: â€œDonâ€™t you already speak Spanish?â€ â€œYou are from Los Angeles and donâ€™t ALL Angelinoâ€™s speak some Spanish?â€ The answer is: â€œSi, Senior, I speak a little of the Espanol.â€ I know enough to successfully order a meal at a Mexican restaurant and get what I think I ordered about 90% of the time. I can call someone enough dirty words to get punched in the face and I can tell a woman she is beautiful and ask her to give me a kiss (another opportunity to get punched in the face or, perhaps, slapped). I almost forgot, I can also sort out where the “el bano” is. So basically, I can speak enough Spanish to get myself in trouble, go to the bathroom and have one heck of a night out.
But can I have an actual conversation in Spanish like a normal person? “No.”(spoken like Antonio Banderas), not a chance, I can not currently sit down with a native Spanish speaker and have an intelligent conversation that does not involve ordering food, cursing, asking to be kissed or inquiring of the whereabouts of a bathroom. I find this to be problematic and embarrassing. And frankly, things must change around here. What sort of person goes around cursing out and asking Spanish speakers for kisses?
My goal for this language mission (a term borrowed from Benny) is to be able to have free flowing, mostly expletive free, conversations completely in Spanish. So I can blend in with the locals.
Super Mega Important Disclaimer: The link to Benny’s Language Hacking Guide is an affiliate link. If you want to learn a language, Benny’s Guide is a great head start.
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